1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,174 Yeah, you want to put it up a couple of inches on your side, love. 2 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,093 Okeydokey. 3 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:17,183 You really think anyone's gonna pay to see this rich nancy sing show tunes? 4 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,351 I wouldn't. 5 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,228 He gives me the creeps. 6 00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,563 He keeps wanting to spoon-feed me, 7 00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:25,441 and then making these weird airplane noises. 8 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,985 We should just leave, all of us, join a new show. 9 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:31,447 Penny, do you really think if there wasn't another option, 10 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:35,535 some other freak show out there, I wouldn't take you away in an instant? 11 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,245 There's nowhere to go. 12 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,205 Our world is dying, sweetheart. 13 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,126 This is the end of the line. 14 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,504 But we've got to eat, 15 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,840 and that kid's got money pouring out of his ears. 16 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,675 I say we let him keep feeding us... 17 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,719 until that lemon runs out of juice. 18 00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:56,097 No, no, no! Turn it off! 19 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:58,141 I told you a million trillion times‒ 20 00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,393 the blue light is for "Night and Day." 21 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,770 Blue symbolizes night. 22 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,273 For "Anything Goes," 23 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:09,944 I need the magenta light to accentuate my spirited rendition. 24 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:13,072 Oh, I'm surrounded by amateurs. 25 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:18,077 Ah, flipper boy! You're back. 26 00:01:18,162 --> 00:01:20,621 Did you hang the banner in clear view for all to see? 27 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:23,332 Yes, sir. Just as instructed. Good, good. 28 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,418 How many tickets have we sold? 29 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:29,964 Um, well, as of this time, none... 30 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,758 quite yet. 31 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,510 You haven't sold a single ticket? 32 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,305 Well, we only put out the banner half an hour ago. 33 00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:40,057 The town hasn't gotten wind of your new act. 34 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,519 I don't understand. 35 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,271 You must have done something wrong. 36 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:46,939 Sir, this is quite typical. 37 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,776 You haven't got a lot of experience in this sort of thing, but you'll see. 38 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:52,653 You think you're so smart. 39 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:55,573 You don't know anything, you stupid freak. 40 00:01:55,657 --> 00:02:00,203 - He's only trying to help. - Oh, shut up, you ugly cow. 41 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,708 No one cares what you think‒ any of you. 42 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:09,796 I'm in charge here, and I say it's your fault. 43 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:15,092 Obviously, no one's coming to the show because you are boring. 44 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:19,180 The town has had their fill of your mediocre oddities. 45 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,766 The thrill is gone. 46 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,143 You're yesterday's news. 47 00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:29,232 Audiences want a new type of freak. 48 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,317 Something different. 49 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:36,239 Maybe I need to give you all some new, startling look. 50 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:42,411 - I think a pair of horns would be quite attractive on you. - Don't you touch her! 51 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,205 This is my show! I'll do whatever I want! 52 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:45,873 That's it, mister. 53 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,920 Aah! 54 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,630 You hurt me. 55 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:56,300 I was willing to eat shit to keep this place going‒ Aah! 56 00:02:56,385 --> 00:03:01,264 But I'd rather starve than listen to your whiny voice one more time. 57 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:06,352 No one wants to see some pretentious prick prancing around on the stage, 58 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,355 and no one gives a shit about bloody Cole Porter. 59 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,899 - Hey. - You think you're special. 60 00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:14,068 Your mum probably told you all your life. 61 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:16,112 Well, I've got news for you. 62 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,948 I've heard you sing, and you're not special. 63 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,700 You're rubbish. 64 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:24,662 Even worse, you're boring. 65 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,789 And we don't trade in boring. 66 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,541 We're freaks. 67 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:33,921 You'll never be one of us, and you don't own us. 68 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:44,849 We quit. 69 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:37,795 Elsa Mars to see Mr. Henry V. Gable. 70 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:42,383 Miss Mars, Mr. Gable is the president of the World Broadcasting Network. 71 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:47,555 He is overseeing over 12 weekly hours of programming, not including the news. 72 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:50,057 He only sees people by appointment, 73 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:53,394 and today, like yesterday and the day before, 74 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,147 you don't have one. 75 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,443 Look, my darling, 76 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,528 I have some new headshots. 77 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:05,740 Why don't you leave me the picture and a contact number, 78 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:10,244 and I'll be sure he calls you as soon as he sees them. 79 00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:13,122 No. 80 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,001 I'll wait. 81 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,058 Bye now. 82 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,082 Good night, Louise. 83 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:11,722 What is this, huh? Where is Mr. Gable? 84 00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,766 I did not see him pass through, 85 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:17,019 and I would know him from his picture in the trades. 86 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,480 He went out the back to avoid you. 87 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,109 And you let me sit here, 88 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,528 like a fool, all day? 89 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,280 What kind of a place is this? 90 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,366 Hollywood. 91 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,788 If you ask me, change your act. 92 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,873 Marlene did it better. 93 00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:41,335 Oh! 94 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,586 No! 95 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,088 No! 96 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,923 No! 97 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,425 - Let go of me! I need to see him! - Leave her be. 98 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,761 - I need to see him! - Leave her be! 99 00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:52,304 No! What is going on? 100 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:55,015 This crazy German broad has been coming in all week... 101 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,852 to see Mr. Gable without an appointment. 102 00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,937 She finally lost it. 103 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:07,027 What is your name? 104 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:10,114 My name is Elsa Mars. 105 00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,958 I'm Michael Beck. 106 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:24,044 Previously Michael Beckenbauer. 107 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,130 Hollywood's funny about German surnames. 108 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:28,674 They are afraid you are a Nazi? 109 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,134 Worse. 110 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,344 Communist. 111 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,931 Mr. Michael Beck... 112 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,644 yours is the first... 113 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,649 kind face I've seen in months. 114 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,526 What do you do here? 115 00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:49,403 Junior Vice President of Casting. 116 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,372 Hmm. 117 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,308 Showtime. 118 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,803 We need to talk about our last week's pay. 119 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:46,330 Go! 120 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,496 Oh. 121 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,383 Oh, please, Dandy. 122 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,260 Let me go. 123 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,762 No, no, no. 124 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,741 Come with me. 125 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,501 Elsa? 126 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,550 Elsa! 127 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,692 Hello? 128 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,362 Anybody home? 129 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,117 Hey! 130 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,832 No! 131 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,978 Do you, Bette Tattler, take Dandy Mott... 132 00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:10,315 to be your lawful wedded husband? 133 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:13,068 My faithful partner in life, 134 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,488 and my one, true love. 135 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:19,407 In sickness and in health, 136 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,035 in joy and sorrow, 137 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:25,163 through the good times and the bad, 138 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,666 till death do us part. 139 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,043 Uh, you may kiss the bride. 140 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,347 Mrs. Mott. 141 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,227 Who could ever have imagined it? 142 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,983 Are you happy for your sister, Dot? 143 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,234 Of course. 144 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:57,153 I'd hate for you to feel like a third wheel. 145 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,406 Especially on our wedding night. 146 00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:01,741 Bette and I have talked about this. 147 00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:04,536 We both agree you should have your privacy. 148 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,586 It's an old trick. I've been doing it since we were little. 149 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,212 I just leave my body. 150 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:20,093 But I'd like to think you'd want to join us from time to time... 151 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,512 in our revels. 152 00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,514 Do bear in mind, Dot, I can... 153 00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:28,268 get very nasty if my manhood is compromised. 154 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,398 A stallion demands a certain respect from all his mares. 155 00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,859 First things first. 156 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:39,154 We have prepared a gorgeous wedding feast... 157 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,656 of all of your favorites. 158 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:45,201 The housekeeper we hired, she's a French-trained cook. 159 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:51,124 I do believe I am the luckiest man alive right now. 160 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,460 And I, the luckiest woman. 161 00:20:57,214 --> 00:21:01,217 To my new wonderful husband. 162 00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:04,054 To our wonderful new husband. 163 00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:05,639 Oh. 164 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,099 Cheers. 165 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:13,063 We are going to have the most splendid life, girls. 166 00:21:13,147 --> 00:21:15,106 You'll see. 167 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,192 And on our honeymoon safari, 168 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:20,862 I'll hunt the biggest cats and skin them up for rugs. 169 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:25,575 Maybe our children will romp around on them someday. 170 00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:28,578 How many children are you proposing, Mr. Mott? 171 00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:31,623 A whole lot of 'em. 172 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,959 I've always found babies to be so boring, 173 00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:37,379 but freak babies‒ oh. 174 00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:39,798 Do you think we might even make a three-headed girl? 175 00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:43,051 We can certainly try. 176 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:46,221 Every day, up in the playroom, we'll put on our very own freak show! 177 00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,603 Dandy? 178 00:21:54,689 --> 00:21:56,648 Are you feeling all right, Dandy? 179 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,527 The excitement seems to have gone straight to my head. 180 00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:03,154 Well, don't get too excited. 181 00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:05,281 We're just getting started. 182 00:22:05,366 --> 00:22:08,535 Maid, you're very poorly trained. 183 00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:10,620 You're not allowed to sit at the table with us. 184 00:22:10,705 --> 00:22:12,580 I ain't no maid. 185 00:22:13,916 --> 00:22:16,251 Mm-hmm, ring any bells? 186 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:19,212 I know we all look alike to you. 187 00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:21,673 - What's going on? - Wedding night's been canceled. 188 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,049 You've been had. 189 00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:25,135 Did you honestly think, for one second, 190 00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:27,637 that we'd lay with you, in your bed, 191 00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:30,348 after you massacred our entire family? 192 00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:33,101 But I was going to... give you everything I have! 193 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,270 We don't want your blood money. 194 00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:38,231 Bette... you said you loved me. 195 00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:40,984 You promised, till death do us part! 196 00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:43,820 Your death can't come soon enough. 197 00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:46,531 But-- But I believed you. 198 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:51,244 My sister is truly a great actress. 199 00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:54,372 Bette Davis couldn't have given a more convincing performance. 200 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,209 You put something in my bubbly. 201 00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:14,392 - That's mine! - Sit down, Dandy. 202 00:23:14,477 --> 00:23:16,519 Sit down! 203 00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:23,943 I think it's time for the next course. 204 00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:26,571 Butler! 205 00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:32,494 You! How did you get in my house? 206 00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:34,454 I had some help. 207 00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:38,666 Oh, Dandy, how wonderful. 208 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:40,752 Thank you. 209 00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:43,046 Of course. 210 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:45,840 Um, extra caviar. 211 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:47,759 That's Bette's. 212 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:51,930 Dandy-- Hmm? 213 00:23:52,014 --> 00:23:53,515 Where are our beverages? 214 00:23:55,184 --> 00:23:56,851 Drats, the lemonade. 215 00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,354 - Be right back with it. - Thank you. 216 00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:03,942 What is this? 217 00:24:11,075 --> 00:24:13,076 You're finally gonna be a part of the show. 218 00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:18,248 The goddamn star attraction. 219 00:24:20,501 --> 00:24:22,836 Night-night, Dandy. 220 00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:58,538 Let me out of here. 221 00:24:58,622 --> 00:25:00,331 Immediately. 222 00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:02,375 I do not like confined spaces! 223 00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:04,460 Don't you know where you are, baby? 224 00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:09,632 This is Hardeen Houdini's famous escape tank. 225 00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:20,018 Can't we just cut his balls off? 226 00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:22,604 We're carny folk. Showmen. 227 00:25:22,688 --> 00:25:24,689 It's gotta be theatrical. 228 00:25:24,773 --> 00:25:26,441 It's what Ma would've wanted. 229 00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:30,695 Once you're in, the only way out is to escape. 230 00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:33,907 You wanted to be the star of the show‒ 231 00:25:33,991 --> 00:25:36,117 here's your chance, big shot. 232 00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:39,537 I'm not an escape artist. I'm a song-and-dance man. 233 00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:41,122 You're a murderer! 234 00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:43,291 You killed our family-- Shot 'em dead in the dirt. 235 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:46,127 - Those were good people! - I'm good people too! 236 00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:49,505 I was just doing what God put me on this earth to do. 237 00:25:49,590 --> 00:25:51,216 You ca‒ You‒ 238 00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:55,136 You can't punish a man for fulfilling his purpose! 239 00:25:57,014 --> 00:25:58,139 Please. 240 00:25:58,224 --> 00:26:00,600 Please, my darlings. 241 00:26:01,977 --> 00:26:04,020 I forgive you for all of this. 242 00:26:04,980 --> 00:26:07,690 Marriage is hard, but I love you. 243 00:26:09,026 --> 00:26:12,570 Please just let me out of here, and let's go home. 244 00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:16,616 Please. I want to go home. 245 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:18,701 Well, you're about to go home. 246 00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:22,038 Right down to hell. 247 00:26:22,122 --> 00:26:25,541 Bette, you of all people know my heart. 248 00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:37,053 I hate you. 249 00:26:37,137 --> 00:26:38,805 I hate you! 250 00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:43,434 For taking my friends from me! 251 00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:47,855 I felt so blessed to finally have friends. 252 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:50,108 And you took them all. 253 00:26:50,192 --> 00:26:54,279 A lot of freaks died on these cursed grounds. 254 00:26:54,363 --> 00:26:57,198 Some by your hand and some not. 255 00:26:57,283 --> 00:27:01,577 A man came through here and started putting our kind in glass jars. 256 00:27:01,662 --> 00:27:04,539 Filled up a museum with our kind. 257 00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:07,333 Saw it with my own eyes! 258 00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:09,919 That's where you think freaks belong‒ 259 00:27:10,004 --> 00:27:12,880 powerless, behind glass, 260 00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:15,633 a human car crash to stare at... 261 00:27:15,718 --> 00:27:18,469 and remind you how lucky you are. 262 00:27:20,139 --> 00:27:22,140 Well, maybe that's true. 263 00:27:22,224 --> 00:27:26,102 Maybe that's all we are, but let me tell you this, pretty boy. 264 00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:30,815 You may look like a motion picture dreamboat, 265 00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:34,944 but you are the biggest freak of them all. 266 00:27:46,832 --> 00:27:49,500 Please! 267 00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:51,252 I'll give you money. 268 00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:53,087 I have so much money. 269 00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:55,173 Assholes like you think you can get away with anything. 270 00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:59,260 But I can't die! You see, I'm immortal! 271 00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:01,971 You are going to die! 272 00:28:02,056 --> 00:28:05,391 We sentence you and your whole rotten world to death. Look at us. 273 00:28:05,476 --> 00:28:08,478 We will always win, because we'll always defend each other to the death. 274 00:28:08,562 --> 00:28:11,481 You want to know why? Because we have no one else to turn to. 275 00:28:12,608 --> 00:28:15,068 The freaks shall inherit the earth. 276 00:28:45,933 --> 00:28:47,850 Please! 277 00:28:49,645 --> 00:28:51,771 Please! 278 00:28:59,321 --> 00:29:01,114 I hate you! I hate you! 279 00:29:01,198 --> 00:29:03,741 I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! 280 00:29:38,152 --> 00:29:39,694 Heck of a show. 281 00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,698 That boy... 282 00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:46,617 is a star. 283 00:30:03,051 --> 00:30:05,344 Every little girl dreams of becoming a Hollywood star, 284 00:30:05,429 --> 00:30:07,430 and now thanks to the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, 285 00:30:07,514 --> 00:30:09,140 the ones that make it to the top... 286 00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:12,226 will have their names etched into the very streets of this magical town. 287 00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:16,481 Welcome to the newly created Hollywood Walk of Fame in Los Angeles, California. 288 00:30:16,565 --> 00:30:20,067 Today, we're honoring the Queen of Friday Night, Miss Elsa Mars— 289 00:30:20,152 --> 00:30:24,489 Winner of three Emmy awards for her groundbreaking variety show The Elsa Mars Hour, 290 00:30:24,573 --> 00:30:28,826 a program which has bravely expanded the notion of what television can be. 291 00:30:28,911 --> 00:30:30,828 And we mustn't forget she's a recording star... 292 00:30:30,913 --> 00:30:33,748 with three gold albums honoring her German heritage: 293 00:30:33,832 --> 00:30:37,210 Ich Bin Elsa Mars, Du Bist Mein Baby... 294 00:30:37,294 --> 00:30:41,172 and her holiday favorite, Merry Christmas, Knuddelmaus. 295 00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:44,592 Of course, no woman's life would be complete without a wonderful man by her side; 296 00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:46,469 her husband and longtime manager Michael Beck, 297 00:30:46,553 --> 00:30:50,848 whom she married in a private ceremony at her palatial home in Beverly Hills. 298 00:30:50,933 --> 00:30:52,683 There are Elsa's beloved spaniels, 299 00:30:52,768 --> 00:30:55,770 Showbiz and Box Office-- A gift from Michael. 300 00:30:55,854 --> 00:31:01,317 With all her many honors, Elsa Mars can now add a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. 301 00:31:03,612 --> 00:31:07,573 I adore being the star of The Elsa Mars Hour. 302 00:31:07,658 --> 00:31:10,618 I mean, who wouldn't love having their own TV show, 303 00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:13,204 surrounded by such talent? 304 00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:14,789 Especially... 305 00:31:14,873 --> 00:31:18,167 my own real-life cowboy... 306 00:31:18,252 --> 00:31:20,753 and personal manager, 307 00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:24,423 Michael "Mr. Hollywood" Beck. 308 00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:28,219 But being a television star is a lot of hard work. 309 00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:30,304 So is wrangling that star. 310 00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:32,515 And that's why we drink... 311 00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:35,560 Campfire Gold instant coffee. 312 00:31:35,644 --> 00:31:37,478 Mmm. 313 00:31:38,438 --> 00:31:40,022 Because... 314 00:31:41,108 --> 00:31:44,735 herding cattle isn't the only hard work. 315 00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:49,198 Cut! 316 00:31:49,283 --> 00:31:52,577 This is shite! This is shite! 317 00:31:52,661 --> 00:31:53,953 Pure shite! 318 00:31:54,037 --> 00:31:56,163 Where are the writers? Huh? 319 00:31:56,248 --> 00:31:57,707 The writers! Are you hiding? 320 00:31:57,833 --> 00:32:00,334 I shouldn't blame you‒ Darling, it's a coffee commercial. 321 00:32:00,419 --> 00:32:02,128 Just say the damn words and move on. 322 00:32:02,212 --> 00:32:05,047 First of all, this coffee tastes like piss. 323 00:32:05,132 --> 00:32:09,176 But why would you paint me as some dumb, headstrong animal... 324 00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:11,846 that my husband has to wrangle, huh? 325 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:13,514 I mean, where is the charm? 326 00:32:13,599 --> 00:32:15,766 Now, go work on it for a while! 327 00:32:15,851 --> 00:32:18,144 I'll be in my dressing room. 328 00:32:20,522 --> 00:32:22,189 Scheiße! 329 00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:26,110 Knock-knock, darling. 330 00:32:26,194 --> 00:32:27,820 There's someone to see you. 331 00:32:27,904 --> 00:32:29,697 Naughty you... 332 00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:32,116 demeaning your wife in front of the world. 333 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:33,951 Was that amusing for you? 334 00:32:34,036 --> 00:32:36,662 We're working hard to try and find something that'll please you. 335 00:32:36,747 --> 00:32:38,789 In the meantime, remember Judy Manners? 336 00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:40,541 VP of publicity for the network? 337 00:32:40,667 --> 00:32:44,962 She wants to discuss promotion for the Halloween show. You're joking, aren't you? 338 00:32:45,047 --> 00:32:48,758 We'd like to do a spread for Parade Magazine-- 339 00:32:48,842 --> 00:32:51,177 You two at home, carving pumpkins, 340 00:32:51,261 --> 00:32:56,182 maybe baking some pfeffernüsse cookies for the trick-or-treaters. 341 00:32:58,852 --> 00:33:01,437 What my pussy of a husband... 342 00:33:01,521 --> 00:33:04,231 has neglected to tell you... 343 00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:06,817 is there will be no Halloween show. 344 00:33:06,902 --> 00:33:09,487 I never perform on Halloween. 345 00:33:09,571 --> 00:33:12,448 You're contractually obligated to do three specials a year. 346 00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:16,160 I said I will not perform on Halloween. 347 00:33:16,244 --> 00:33:18,245 Darling, they've booked Andy Williams. 348 00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:22,375 Imagine you two singing "Autumn Leaves" in matching pumpkin suits‒ 349 00:33:22,459 --> 00:33:24,377 America will lap it up. 350 00:33:24,461 --> 00:33:26,504 Hmm. 351 00:33:26,588 --> 00:33:28,464 You know... 352 00:33:28,548 --> 00:33:33,386 when I first met him, he was some junior so-and-so, 353 00:33:33,470 --> 00:33:35,930 hanging out in the lobby of the studio. 354 00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:40,017 I made him my manager. 355 00:33:40,102 --> 00:33:42,144 And then... 356 00:33:42,229 --> 00:33:45,439 I made the colossal mistake of marrying him. 357 00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:49,902 And now he thinks he knows better than I what my audience wants. 358 00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,700 I live to serve. 359 00:33:57,202 --> 00:33:59,704 There will be no Halloween show! 360 00:33:59,788 --> 00:34:01,539 You got that, chickies? 361 00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:03,624 Where are you going? 362 00:34:07,671 --> 00:34:11,048 I have a luncheon engagement... 363 00:34:11,133 --> 00:34:12,675 at home. 364 00:34:32,988 --> 00:34:34,655 Tell me‒ 365 00:34:34,740 --> 00:34:36,741 what have you been doing since Florida? 366 00:34:36,825 --> 00:34:40,035 I'm sorry that I had to run off the way I did, but... 367 00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:44,915 you know my motto: always leave them wanting more. 368 00:34:45,751 --> 00:34:47,376 I left when you left. 369 00:34:47,502 --> 00:34:49,128 Please, let's sit. Yes. 370 00:34:50,046 --> 00:34:53,299 - I went to, uh, Nevada. - Nevada? 371 00:34:53,383 --> 00:34:54,717 Thank you. 372 00:34:54,801 --> 00:34:58,971 I went-- uh, the army, uh, they wanted carpenters... 373 00:34:59,055 --> 00:35:02,057 that they could, uh, use to build villages, 374 00:35:02,142 --> 00:35:04,560 uh, to blow up with their atomic bombs. 375 00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:09,106 It took us ages to build these towns and then‒ boom! 376 00:35:09,191 --> 00:35:10,858 Gone. In a flash. 377 00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:13,194 Ridicolo. 378 00:35:13,278 --> 00:35:15,654 Yes, I know what that's like. 379 00:35:17,282 --> 00:35:18,949 Elsa. Hmm? 380 00:35:19,910 --> 00:35:22,328 I have seen your star ascend. 381 00:35:27,083 --> 00:35:28,751 If I would have told you, 382 00:35:28,835 --> 00:35:30,544 as you lay in my workshop in Berlin-- 383 00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:34,131 That all this was soon to come, 384 00:35:34,216 --> 00:35:36,258 I would have said that I was mad. 385 00:35:36,343 --> 00:35:40,137 Now look at you. You have everything you ever wanted. Huh? 386 00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:44,058 I'm bored. 387 00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:46,143 And I am alone. 388 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,856 All my friends are on the payroll. 389 00:35:52,234 --> 00:35:55,820 They say yes to anything I ask because they know if they don't, 390 00:35:55,904 --> 00:36:00,741 they will be cast out of the paradise known as The Elsa Mars Hour. 391 00:36:05,497 --> 00:36:08,749 My husband cheats on me. 392 00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:11,335 I cheat on him. 393 00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:15,881 No, Massimo. 394 00:36:15,966 --> 00:36:20,010 I have always, always, always been cursed. 395 00:36:20,095 --> 00:36:21,762 First by... 396 00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:25,224 having my dreams ripped away. 397 00:36:25,308 --> 00:36:28,686 And now I am cursed by having them all come true. 398 00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:32,189 Oh, you are tired, exhausted. That is all. 399 00:36:32,274 --> 00:36:34,650 Eight years ago... 400 00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:41,907 my best friend made me a birthday cake. 401 00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:44,827 That night, 402 00:36:44,911 --> 00:36:48,873 when she and I sat over my candle, 403 00:36:48,957 --> 00:36:51,959 my birthday wish was plain and simple. 404 00:36:53,962 --> 00:36:56,630 I just wanted to be loved. 405 00:36:58,842 --> 00:37:02,678 Little did I know that every step that I would take since then, 406 00:37:02,762 --> 00:37:05,973 would be one step further away from... 407 00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:08,142 making that wish... 408 00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:09,727 come true. 409 00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:14,231 Let's run away together. Yes. 410 00:37:14,316 --> 00:37:16,483 Like we talked about in the old days. Do you remember? 411 00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:20,029 We could find an apartment in Rome on the Appian Way. 412 00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:22,907 Refresh my Italian, no? 413 00:37:22,991 --> 00:37:26,535 Get good and fat, grow old together. 414 00:37:28,914 --> 00:37:30,080 Please. 415 00:37:31,124 --> 00:37:33,000 I just-- 416 00:37:34,502 --> 00:37:37,546 I need to be with someone I love. 417 00:37:37,631 --> 00:37:40,591 Um, Elsa, now I am cursed... 418 00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:42,593 with a dream that comes too late. 419 00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:45,679 I came to‒ to say good-bye. 420 00:37:47,432 --> 00:37:48,766 I, uh‒ 421 00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:53,687 I have a disease in my lungs, 422 00:37:53,772 --> 00:37:55,773 uh, that has gone into my bones. 423 00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:58,609 Uh, they say that I only have a month. 424 00:37:58,693 --> 00:37:59,860 Ah‒ 425 00:38:00,737 --> 00:38:03,489 And then I will be gone. 426 00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:13,666 And now there will be no one left, huh? 427 00:38:17,379 --> 00:38:19,964 Well‒ 428 00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:26,845 Elsa? 429 00:38:28,390 --> 00:38:31,266 Leave me alone, Michael, I'm drinking. 430 00:38:31,351 --> 00:38:33,352 Hello, Elsa. 431 00:38:41,695 --> 00:38:44,029 You should have called, huh? 432 00:38:45,532 --> 00:38:48,617 I did not know you were bringing Mr. Gable home with you. 433 00:38:48,702 --> 00:38:50,035 I do hope... 434 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:54,415 the head of the network didn't come all the way out here... 435 00:38:54,499 --> 00:38:58,669 to talk to me about the Halloween show, because... 436 00:38:58,753 --> 00:39:02,798 I've made up my mind and I am not going to do it. 437 00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:04,717 This isn't about Halloween, Elsa. 438 00:39:04,801 --> 00:39:06,135 No? 439 00:39:10,390 --> 00:39:13,684 This sounds serious. 440 00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:16,145 Can I get you a drink, Mr. Gable? 441 00:39:16,229 --> 00:39:18,522 Could definitely use one. 442 00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:27,072 Now, why don't you tell me what this is all about, huh? 443 00:39:29,743 --> 00:39:32,578 It seems Hedda Hopper got her hands on some... 444 00:39:32,662 --> 00:39:35,789 eight-millimeter films you shot back in Germany. 445 00:39:35,874 --> 00:39:38,667 The content-- How can I put this? 446 00:39:38,752 --> 00:39:40,711 Is quite graphic in nature. 447 00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:45,466 I don't know. 448 00:39:46,676 --> 00:39:50,220 Fakes? Forgeries? It's‒ It's not me. 449 00:39:50,305 --> 00:39:52,848 Looked a lot like you, Elsa. 450 00:39:52,974 --> 00:39:54,725 - You've seen them? - Just now. 451 00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:57,436 Mr. Chandler over at the Times is a close personal friend. 452 00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:00,689 He gave us a private screening. 453 00:40:00,774 --> 00:40:02,691 No one's gonna believe it's not you. 454 00:40:02,776 --> 00:40:05,027 You told me you lost your legs in a rail accident. 455 00:40:05,695 --> 00:40:07,738 You lied to me? 456 00:40:07,822 --> 00:40:09,948 That's what we do. 457 00:40:10,033 --> 00:40:11,909 We lie to each other. 458 00:40:11,993 --> 00:40:14,078 This whole marriage is... 459 00:40:14,162 --> 00:40:17,998 one stinking, stupid, ugly lie! 460 00:40:19,167 --> 00:40:21,335 I'll pack my things. 461 00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:28,675 Mr. Gable, we can fix this, right? I mean‒ 462 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:30,969 I mean, everybody has a price, right? 463 00:40:31,054 --> 00:40:33,847 We tried to reason with Miss Hopper. She won't have it. 464 00:40:33,932 --> 00:40:36,683 She's publishing her article next week. 465 00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:38,435 But that will ruin me. 466 00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:48,445 I'll become‒ 467 00:40:48,530 --> 00:40:50,197 just some... 468 00:40:52,367 --> 00:40:54,785 bizarre footnote in Hollywood history. 469 00:40:55,912 --> 00:40:57,996 - There's one more thing. - What? 470 00:40:58,081 --> 00:41:01,542 Hopper hired some amateur sleuth to retrace your steps. 471 00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:04,962 Which led back to Jupiter, Florida. 472 00:41:05,046 --> 00:41:07,256 Apparently, you ran a freak show. 473 00:41:08,049 --> 00:41:09,466 Yes. 474 00:41:09,551 --> 00:41:11,969 For a short time. It was an act of charity. 475 00:41:12,053 --> 00:41:15,597 I just, uh‒ I felt sorry for them. 476 00:41:15,682 --> 00:41:18,058 Sorry? 477 00:41:20,645 --> 00:41:22,312 They're all dead. 478 00:41:26,901 --> 00:41:28,068 What? 479 00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:32,114 All of them? 480 00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:34,950 There was some kind of massacre. 481 00:41:35,034 --> 00:41:37,161 Bodies found in a mass grave. 482 00:41:37,245 --> 00:41:40,622 I don't know if you read the fine print in your contract, 483 00:41:40,707 --> 00:41:42,708 but there's a morals clause. 484 00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:46,503 Obviously, we'll pay out your contract. 485 00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:51,925 I've changed my mind. 486 00:41:53,595 --> 00:41:55,262 About what? 487 00:41:57,974 --> 00:42:02,186 I will perform on Halloween. 488 00:42:05,398 --> 00:42:08,358 Why not? 489 00:42:08,443 --> 00:42:10,694 Might as well go out with a bang. 490 00:42:24,459 --> 00:42:26,919 Places, everyone. 491 00:42:27,003 --> 00:42:30,923 Elsa Mars's Halloween Spooktacular. 492 00:42:35,053 --> 00:42:39,389 And we are on in five, four, three, two‒ 493 00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:48,667 Boys, hold on to your daddy's hand. 494 00:43:48,751 --> 00:43:50,919 Hey, hey, come back here. Give me your hand. 495 00:43:51,004 --> 00:43:53,547 All right, give me your hand. 496 00:44:01,055 --> 00:44:03,015 What are you looking at, wife? 497 00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:05,100 TV we got at home is just fine. 498 00:44:07,562 --> 00:44:10,856 Everything we got at home is just fine. 499 00:44:13,151 --> 00:44:16,194 You got to give it to her, the old broad's got guts. 500 00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:34,838 We've got it. 501 00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:39,509 Oh. 502 00:44:39,594 --> 00:44:43,180 How are my girls feeling? Just fine. 503 00:44:43,264 --> 00:44:44,931 All of us. 504 00:44:58,529 --> 00:45:01,490 I feel like I've seen this act before. 505 00:45:40,988 --> 00:45:43,490 the mist doesn't come up until the goblin sketch. 506 00:45:55,628 --> 00:45:57,629 Why'd she stop singing? 507 00:46:01,592 --> 00:46:03,385 Ever since I heard your story, 508 00:46:03,469 --> 00:46:08,014 I have not forgotten the black soul that was once within my grasp. 509 00:46:09,225 --> 00:46:10,725 Take me now. 510 00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:14,896 This is a suicide. 511 00:46:14,981 --> 00:46:18,525 How deep your pain must be, my lovely. 512 00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:21,695 I am the biggest freak of all. 513 00:46:23,030 --> 00:46:26,074 Elsa, what are you doing? 514 00:46:27,034 --> 00:46:28,785 Huh? 515 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:34,749 The day of reckoning is here. 516 00:46:34,834 --> 00:46:38,795 It hurts, but only for a moment. 517 00:46:53,144 --> 00:46:55,812 Your place is not with us. 518 00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:36,061 Welcome, Miss Elsa. I missed you. 519 00:47:36,145 --> 00:47:38,688 Oh! 520 00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:40,732 Ma Petite. 521 00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:43,401 My special one. 522 00:47:43,486 --> 00:47:45,779 Can it really, really be you? 523 00:47:45,863 --> 00:47:48,406 It really is me. 524 00:47:48,491 --> 00:47:50,158 It is. 525 00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:53,954 Hey, Elsa. 526 00:47:55,081 --> 00:47:57,165 You look wonderful tonight, Elsa. 527 00:47:57,291 --> 00:47:59,543 It's good to have you back. We got married. 528 00:48:09,887 --> 00:48:12,138 I'll take it from here. 529 00:48:14,809 --> 00:48:16,476 You go get your face on. 530 00:48:16,561 --> 00:48:18,853 Okay, Miss Ethel. 531 00:48:32,785 --> 00:48:34,452 I don't understand. 532 00:48:34,537 --> 00:48:36,580 Where is this place? 533 00:48:40,668 --> 00:48:42,168 Ethel? 534 00:48:42,253 --> 00:48:46,756 The sins of the living don't add up to much around here. 535 00:48:46,841 --> 00:48:49,718 In life, we play the parts we're cast in. 536 00:48:49,802 --> 00:48:51,469 But don't I have to pay? 537 00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:56,182 I mean, don't I have to pay for my sins? 538 00:48:56,267 --> 00:49:00,061 For all‒ all the mistakes I've made? 539 00:49:00,146 --> 00:49:02,314 Can you imagine... 540 00:49:02,398 --> 00:49:06,276 the police showing up at the Old Globe... 541 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:10,363 and arresting the guy playing Othello for murdering Desdemona? 542 00:49:10,448 --> 00:49:13,908 Besides, it's like you always said, sweetheart. 543 00:49:13,993 --> 00:49:16,036 "Stars never pay." 544 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,920 It ain't so bad around here, you know? 545 00:49:26,005 --> 00:49:28,089 Full house every night. 546 00:49:28,174 --> 00:49:29,633 Family together. 547 00:49:29,717 --> 00:49:31,551 The only downside has been, 548 00:49:31,636 --> 00:49:34,012 you know, we've been missing our headliner. 549 00:49:35,389 --> 00:49:37,849 Am I to perform? Now? 550 00:49:37,933 --> 00:49:39,934 Well, what the hell else are you supposed to do? 551 00:49:40,019 --> 00:49:43,897 You're a terrible friend, you're a pain-in-the-ass boss, you can't cook for shit. 552 00:49:47,401 --> 00:49:48,526 All ready. 553 00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:14,344 Ladies and gentlemen. 554 00:50:14,428 --> 00:50:16,346 Children of all ages. 555 00:50:17,431 --> 00:50:19,391 You have all looked up at the night sky... 556 00:50:19,475 --> 00:50:23,019 and seen the sparkle of millions of dead stars. 557 00:50:23,104 --> 00:50:25,313 They flickered out centuries ago, 558 00:50:25,398 --> 00:50:28,983 and only now does their light reach our eyes. 559 00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:31,069 But have you ever wondered, 560 00:50:31,153 --> 00:50:33,780 when they were alive and burning, 561 00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:36,032 which one shined the brightest? 562 00:50:37,076 --> 00:50:41,538 Well, tonight, right here on this stage, 563 00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:44,708 I'm gonna give you an answer to that question. 564 00:50:44,792 --> 00:50:48,211 Tonight, you will see... 565 00:50:48,295 --> 00:50:51,715 the brightest and the best... 566 00:50:51,799 --> 00:50:55,552 that ever was and ever will be. 567 00:50:56,721 --> 00:50:58,722 Ladies and gentlemen, 568 00:50:58,806 --> 00:51:02,809 I give you Miss Elsa Mars!